Currently listening to Paper Hearts - Tori Kelly. This song just hit somewhere so close to home, With everything that has been happening it has gotten me quite down, but i am lucky enough to have a shoulder to cry on if need be. I sit and think about everything, about us and how we used to be. We were so happy, but now look at us.. just strangers again. With nothing left to hold on to, and time to start fresh. I don't regret a single thing, because you've helped me learn from my mistakes.. the mistake of trying to hold on when it was pointless.. i guess after our major break-up at the beginning of the year this time it didn't hurt as much and wasn't as hard to let go.. The first time it hurt so much to even think of letting go.. days would go by and i would not notice.. i was broken the first time, and when we got back together i thought everything was going so smoothly.. with such a bright future ahead of us.. i guess we really weren't meant to be..i think about us now and i can't even remember your voice.. or any of our good moments, all i remember is all the heartbreak and arguing.. i thought i was happy with how things were going but i guess that was the last straw i couldn't do it any more.. I know i have moved on.. i am happy now and i honestly wish the best for you. I can't say any more than i already have, i guess i just needed to let you go so you can move on to. I didn't have intentions of moving on, it kind of just happened.. like it did with you, it came out of no where. I guess i was so distracted with everything that i didn't have a chance to just think about it and mourn the relationship that i gave up without a thought. That i gave up on.. i wonder if i tried one last time where would we have ended up.. would it be the same situation just later down the track. All i can do now is move on, life is short and i can't afford to waste time any more. I've wasted too much time now.
I haven't written a post in over four months, and i have valid reason for it. I have had a very busy and crazy past couple months. I've had work which has been quite up and down, then did summer school which i finally received a grade - Credit! And then i found out i was pregnant mid way during summer school, which made me skip alot of classes, then i got engaged, then i had a miscarriage and then my partner and i split up - an amicable break-up turned quite sour not because of him, but because of our mutual friends. I have been having a hard time dealing with all the emotions inside and i think everything added up, either way i am back at my mother's place, trying to recoup my losses and just cope. I am mid way through my uni semester and have fucked up alot of the weeks since i haven't been attending. But i guess in a way i am back on track now thanks to H. I won't speak much of him, but say i have never felt this much freedom before. I've always felt like i was restricted and when I'm with him things are different. I have all the freedom in the world, and yet i just want to come back to him. I know that things between my ex and i are fresh in a way, but I've never been the type of girl to mope around feeling sorry for myself after a break-up. Life is way to short to try and rethink things, all you can do is try move on with your life and try to improve yourself and make you a better you. I never look for a relationship, somehow i just stumble into one. I don't know how i don't know why.. all i know is that we don't know what is coming tomorrow, so make the most of today while you can. I am trying to get my life back on track, this was a little road block along the way, but if i can make it through this then i can make it through anything. I just got to stay strong and try fight my way back.
I have no regrets about our relationship, about our time together.
We were just never meant to be.
I was so blinded by the thought of love,
that I couldn't see clearly through the fog.
I tried to make it work,
But maybe you just didn't try hard enough,
or maybe you just started trying too late.
I wanted to hold on,
but there comes a point where holding on is no longer an option.
Hey guys! I am currently watching いたずらキス Love in Tokyo! I love series like this! Despite the fact that it is soo predictable but i love it! There's something about the way they act and the storyline despite the fact that it is the same story line, girl meets boy falls in love, boy hates girl then warms up to her in the end and they live happily ever after. ARGG! かわいい❗️
This is something i wrote in 2011.
Many people, not all, go through different best friends throughout life. However, usually a person only has one real, true best friend in all that time. A best friend is not only someone you have a good time with, it is also someone you believe you can trust your life with. A best friend is the first person you call when the most amazing things happen in your life, and when the most horrific incidents happen. A best friend is the person you will always remember no matter what comes about. Some people lose the only true best friend they will ever have, and even when they get new "best friends" .. that old, real best friend is always on their mind. A best friend is almost like real family, a best friend gives the opinion you usually care most about. A best friend is the one who tells you the things you absolutely need to hear regardless of whether you want to hear it or not. A best friend is the person you usually can be around always and never get sick of. A best friend is someone you don't envy, and is the person you are grateful to have as a friend. A best friend is the one who will forgive you always, even when you've screwed up so bad. And a best friend is the one who even though you may have drifted apart from, when the time comes for them to hug you or congratulate you on an accomplishment or to console you on a loss.. they are the number one person you want to see, always because they are the person you've confided the most in and they are the person who knows you the best .. even when you both have changed.
I have more then one bestfriend, though predominately guys but i do have one or two best girl friends. They mean the world to me.
Bradley - You were there for me through thick and thin, despite the fact they we didn't speak for almost a year you came back into my life and have remained here since. You are there for me regardless of how time constricted you are, you try to make time for me. I am thankful to have randomly met you that day on the bus at school. We have gone through so much and i and soo thankful to have you in my life. Everything i've been through over the past 7 years you were there for - except that one year. BUT regardless you are always there for me all the memories we have shared, both the good and the bad. <3
Matt - I love you, i love everything that you are and everything about you. I don't recall how we met, but i am glad to have met you and remained in contact with you. I love you beyond words can say because you truly are a great friend. You were there for me to help me through all my doubts and through my break-ups. You cheer me up when i need it the most and even though we hardly get to meet up, you make time for me when you can. I feel truly grateful to have met you and to be your friend. Every-time we do meetup time flies by so quick and it's time to leave again, not knowing when i shall see you next. But every-time we hang out it is heaps awesome. To be able to spend time with you. I have known you for i think 2/3years now and i believe if i remember correctly we met at Sam's birthday 19th of June 2009? That would make it 2 years we've known each other? Almost? Hopefully our plan comes true haha to move in together that would be sooo totally awesome to be able to hang out with you all the time haha! But then you gotta deal with my moodiness haha not that you don't already. But more frequently! LOL But if you do read this then <3 miss you and we need to hang out soon! only a couple more weeks till my birthday! :D <3
Thompson - Though our friendship is fairly recent, the connection i have with you is amazing. You understand me on so many different levels. I feel completely myself when with you, and can be as stupid as i like - though i don't think our conversations have reached that level yet haha! Despite the fact that you go MIA every so often when we do hang out i have an amazing time, whether it is to go clubbing or just chill somewhere and have a deep and meaningful it is an awesome time. Memories of those nights where we just chilled and talked for hours on end about the more absurd and obscene things! Then the nights where we smokeup and just chill haha. Everything has been great and i hope to remain good friends with you :)
I am so thankful to have met you guys, you mean the entire world to me. And yes this is a late night ramble, but i just had to write it - just a random though while washing the dishes. 4am chore! and it took me nearly an hour to write that haha! But i just wanted to show you my appreciation to have you guys in my life. You have gone through many experiences with me and despite how short or long i have known you guys for you are a big part of my life. I love you guys! <3
I read through this now, and i realise that you three are still in my life 3 years down the track, that everything we have all gone through has brought us closer to where we are today. I could not have asked for better friends.
I really wanted you to be the last one.. the one that made everything better the one that would stand by my side through everything... Is thst even a possibility anymore? Already I feel like im falling apart... I don't know what I did wrong... I feel like crap.. I just don't understand..